08 November 2013

Blurred Lines

They say it takes a village to raise a child. There is a vague but very present set of struggles to being "the nanny" in that village. There are certainly weeks on end, and especially when he was younger, that I logged more waking time with the fella than his parents. That's not to say that his parents aren't golden. They really, truly are. I believe with my all that, like the greater majority of parents, they are doing their best. And best can vastly differ in appearance. I am forever grateful for the trust they have in me and the respect that I've earned in my role as their precious person's caregiver. What I mean to say is that I see a lot, I hear a lot (much that I could do without, har har) but most of all, I feel a lot for this little human.I will never have as much invested in this child as his parents do, duh, but I'd be crazy not to hope for him; to worry about the impact I'm having on his development; to wonder the trigger and true remedies to his current rotten behavior. I do my best to always respect their wants and rules for him, even when I question the significance. It takes grace, conscious thought, and often creativity.  Even with the healthiest relationship and a decent line of communication with them, the dynamic he and I share will be unlike that with his parents. The habits we practice all week can be lost in a weekend, and follow through is faultlessly tough as power is shifted in the evening and agendas vary. It's a strange and undefined place to be, but I suppose it is what it is. It's been a challenging week in that village. I'm backing away slowly from that frustration, though, as I understand there must be a separate set of challenges wrapped in employing a nanny and even for him looking to three adult figures in the home. Ultimately, I'm proud that as ill-defined as my place feels, it all comes down to the certainty that this little boy has a team of hearts loving and looking after him. Goodness, I am blessed to watch him grow.

5 comments:

Emily said...

Very well put, and thoughtful. I think teachers face some of the same challenges. You spend the majority of the week with a kid, building a relationship, trying to teach them. However it can all be erased and their opinion of you is ultimately formed by their parents and how they feel, those young impressionable little sponges that they are.

Tina Byland said...

That's beautiful. I feel like parents who hire nannys can get a bad rep. I don't know. I never had a nanny and I'd never be able to afford one when I have kids. But I think that if we both were working, and could afford one, I'd rather a nanny than some daycare raise my child. So there's that. I guess if I couldn't stay home all day and needed child care, I'd choose nannying, too. If I could. And he's lucky to have all three of you. :)

Michelle Z. said...

Well said. I work as a nanny too and I can definitely relate!

Jess said...

It's crazy the amount of time and effort we commit to our "kiddos". I'm really curious to see if that changes once I actually have my own to go home too. But taking care of kids really is a big commitment even if it's your job. And on the other side of the coin, is it worth it to stay at home as a mom or to continue working to support the family? It's definitely a hard toss up!

rooth said...

That little one sure has his precious moments and I know you're pouring your heart into his upbringing, as much as you're a part of it.